|They bled yer mama, bled yer papa, but they won't bleed you|
1 Cup Matzah Meal (For the "differently Jewish" among you, Matzah is a terrible terrible cracker Jews consume for religious reasons during Passover. Matzah Meal is what happens if you crush it into itty bitty pieces over and over, so that you never have to see its stupid matzah face again.)
2.5 TBSP Schmaltz (As I've mentioned before, schmaltz is rendered chicken fat. For an inauthentic version of how to achieve this, demonstrated by a woman who is clearly writing a novel in her free time in which she murders absolutely everybody she knows, click here!)
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Ground Ginger
1 Average Sized Human's pinch of White Pepper
The first thing you're gonna need to do is channel your inner Jewish grandmother. This mostly involves hinting to every relative you have that they really should call and visit more often unless of course they want you to sit alone and forgotten in your big empty house, and dropping the hint that they'll die of a wasting sickness if they don't start eating more. Also some light housework. Once it's all done, collect your eggs together, tearfully explain to them what they're about to go through, and then beat them until their insides are all mixed together. Add in your matzah meal, schmaltz, salt, ginger, and pepper, and stir to combine. Then cover that weird glop, shove it in the fridge, and let it think about what it's done for at least 15 minutes.
|Not pictured: thousands of years of persecution, soup|