Top Ramen Soup

All the best foods come in dried prepackaged rectangles.

This week is a little bit different from what I've done before. Normally, I make some awesome nonsense from scratch, and try to teach you all how to make it, all while taking no sass at all from the voices in my head. This week, I'm gonna show you how to take some super cheap, pretty crappy nonsense (dried rectangles of ramen noodle soup), and combine it with some other simple ingredients to make something pretty damn incredible. Because sometimes nothing's open, and you have to make do with what's lying around, or what you can buy at some sort of Kwik E Mart. And sometimes you get home from your trip to Ireland at midnight in the middle of the only legit cold-snap since you've moved to LA, you find out that your heat is broken, and you have to figure out some way to warm up with delicious food even though you're too tired to go to the store, because your flight was delayed 2 hours and then you had to sit on the tarmac for an hour after landing, so you try and find a way to utilize only things that have been sitting in your pantry or freezer for the last month or so. You know, hypothetically.

Ingredients:

2 Rectangles of Ramen Noodle Soup
4 Cups Water
1 Standard Issue Onion
1.5 Cups Frozen Peas and Carrots
2 Cloves of Garlic
2 Average Sized Human Pinches of Salt
2 Average Sized Human Pinches of Ground Ginger
1 Average Sized Human Pinch of Black Pepper
1.5 tsp Olive Oil

The first thing you're gonna need to do is forget 80% of what you know about those packages of Ramen noodles. If you never went to college or lived alone in your early 20s, you'll probably be ahead of the curve on this one. The next thing you're gonna need to do is mildly chop up your onion. You're looking for smallish chunks, but nothing too fine. If you were an onion serial killer, this would be like your sloppy early work. The stuff that the police eventually look back at years later to finally gather substantial evidence and catch you. Heat up your Olive Oil over medium heat, and sauté the crap out of your Onion along with half your Salt, half your Ginger, and all of your Black Pepper. Let it cook down, stirring occasionally, for about 6 minutes, or until the onions start to get slightly brown and smell awesome. Add in your frozen Vegetables, along with the rest of your Salt, and sauté until they're very definitely defrosted, and the whole mess starts to smell...well, even more incredible than before. During this time choppity chop up your Garlic, like a well-oiled garlic-mincing machine. Nobody's solving any garlic murders from these cloves. Add them in, and sauté for another minute.

Noodles, vegetables, flavor, and crunchy bits. You're welcome

Now it's time to deal with your noodles, and how much you're supposed to forget about what you no longer know about them because your forgot it. Got it? Me either. Which is the point, I think. Anyhow, take a knife, and chop each dried noodle-loaf into 5 equal slices. Some crumbly bits are gonna break off from the slices. Don't worry, you haven't ruined everything. This time. Yet. Take your crumbly bits and put them in a bowl for later. Add your Water, along with the slices of Ramen, and all but one pinch of the accompanying Ramen "seasoning packets" in with your Vegetables and bring the heat up to high. Cook it for about 4 minutes, when the noodles soften. Take your crumbly extra bits of noodles and toss them with your reserved pinch of Ramen seasoning and the rest of your Ginger. Serve yourself up a bowlful of soup, top it with your spiced crumblies, and enjoy! I'm sure the memory of it will continue to keep you warm as you sleep in your cold apartment, waiting until it's day out so you can call and get your heat fixed. Hypothetically.