|Cucumber have the unique ability to be completely gross|
normally, yet super delicious pickled. Because, witchcraft.
1.5 Cups Water
1.5 Cups White Vinegar
2.5 TBSP Salt
Cucumbers, or other junk (Turns out you can pickle pretty much anything. Cucumbers are awesome, but you got carrots? You can pickle em. You got cauliflower? You can pickle it. You've got a side of brisket? Oh, you better believe you can pickle it)
One bunch fresh Dill
4 cloves Garlic
1 tsp Mustard Seed
1 tsp Black Peppercorns
1 tsp Celery Seed
1/2 tsp Crushed Red Pepper
There are a number of different kinds of pickles, some of which are prepared in slightly different ways. These are refrigerator pickles, which means that their brine has vinegar added, and they do their magic in the fridge. As opposed to pickles that are straight-up fermented in a salt brine with natural bacteria, which requires a couple weeks, some specialized equipment, and a higher tolerance for gross. All in all, refrigerator pickles seemed to be the way to go to ease my way into the pickling world, so that I can inevitably betray and conquer it. What was the point I was trying to make before I fell down the endless hole of exposition that is this paragraph? Oh yeah! There are lots of different pickles, and if you want to experiment with your own flavors, go for it. For instance, I made a batch alongside this one that had fresh jalapeño and ground ginger in it. This recipe is a good starting place, but get creative. The sky's the limit! Literally. Don't make pickles in space (I'm looking at you, Hungarian astronauts).
The first thing you're gonna need to do is put your Water, Vinegar, and Salt together in a pot, and boil them. Yes, your kitchen will smell like vinegar for an hour or so. That's kind of unavoidable. The good news is your kitchen won't smell like whatever it currently smells like, so for once you won't feel the crippling shame of being a secret food-hoarder. Anyhow, once your brine is made, turn off the heat, and get choppity chopping. Peel and slice your Garlic, and cut your Cucumbers into spears, which is pickle for quarters. Is this because the original pickles were used as weapons by a tribe of prehistoric proto-chefs who were very quickly wiped out by the tribe next door? Yes. That's exactly the reason.
|Protip: if you don't want your hands to smell like pickles all|
day, refrain from artfully arranging your pickles in the jar.